2012 Life Lesson

Instead of a 2012 recap I decided to share the one major lesson I learned this year.

Warning: Brutal HONESTY ahead!

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When you’re in a fight with a friend who you care about, then it doesn’t matter who talks to whom first to resolve the conflict. But during the fight if you realize you no longer want to be friends with that person because they’ve always been a bad friend, then do you tell them? Do you give your perspective of the situation and how you feel they’ve been a terrible friend for YEARS? Not so you can reconcile but so that person can be a better friend to others in the future.

You may be asking, “If this friend was so terrible for so long, why were you even friends?” and “Why end it now?” or perhaps “Why are you being so mean and unfair?” The answer is that I didn’t want to see anything negative in my closest friend. I’m not into drama or conflict so I forgive easily plus, not a lot of things bother me. That’s why I was able to be friends with this person when others gave up over the years. But now I’ve realized I’m just not willing to and don’t need to tolerate certain things anymore.

Over time, I learned the hard way that it’s not possible to be friends with someone who gets satisfaction out of constantly playing the victim, twists your words and actions so they can continue to be the saint, comes up with any rationalization that justifies their behavior, escapes any responsibility on their part of the situation, who wants the friendship only on their terms, who is immature and passive aggressive in what they say and do, basically, someone who is a master manipulator. The sad truth is that there are many girls like this. I’m not describing an anomaly. This is the reason why girls are generally labeled as “evil”. Sometimes I wish I could be a guy with only guy friends because they’re, usually, much less manipulative and analyze a situation rationally and logically.   

But most people will never catch on because they’ll probably never become as close to this person as I have. Most will remain friends, probably superficially, with this person and never experience what I’ve experienced. It’s truly sad that the friendship had to end this way but frankly, it was inevitable.  Deep down my gut knew the truth but it took this long for me to accept it.

Tip:  A girl without close long-term girlfriends, keyword being long-term, probably doesn’t know what it means to be a true friend. Ladies, be cautious when befriending this type of girl. Gentlemen, never marry this type of girl.

 A wise friend told me that as we get older it won’t even be feasible to maintain certain friendships because they become contingent on your life stage. A single person has different priorities than someone who wants to settle down and slowly, the commonalities will lessen between them and naturally the friendship will end. This holds true for what I’ve been told many times before from my older friends. They always tell me that the reason why people in their 30’s only have a handful of friends is because they eventually cut out all the toxic ones. 

In addition, I realized there is no longer a need for a “bestie” in my life. What I once thought was so important and special no longer holds true. Don’t get me wrong; I still need girlfriends in my life, like every girl does. But I don’t need to have just one “best friend”. All I need is a small circle of deep, healthy friendships with good girlfriends. Healthy friendships based on the desire to grow spiritually, emotionally and mentally. A healthy relationship is composed of two people who are humble and honest with one another, which means more courage to do the right thing and more compassion when things go wrong. It’s not easy, but growth means choosing honesty over passivity every single time. So, stop being passive if you want your relationships to remain healthy!

THE END

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Kubota’s 40th Anniversary

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Thursday September 27th– we received a small gift bag filled with a bag of microwavable popcorn, dum dums and a commemorative pin.

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Friday September 28th– Placed on each employees desk was a bag with a small bamboo surfboard shaped cutting board. The label states “This cutting board is made of natural bamboo, a sustainable wood and an ancient symbol of enduring strength and longevity, Kubota, with its commitment to the earth’s resources presents this gift to you in celebration of our 40 years of achievement.”

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At 9AM we all boarded buses and took a short field trip to the local AMC movie theater to watch a film about Kubota’s past 40 years in America. The film was well made and everyone genuinely enjoyed it. I even got a credit for the film for helping with the production! Should I create an IMDB profile now?

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Beverly’s Baby Shower

I never knew it was tradition to throw a baby shower only for the first child. I learned that fact on the Real Housewives of Atlanta TV show. How embarrassing. But I wonder if it’s true for Asian babies.

Back in September I helped throw a baby shower for my dear friend Beverly and her due date is TODAY!!! We ate brunch at Brownstone Cafe in downtown Fullerton, played a few games and ate delicious taro brulee cake from 85 degrees bakery.

I can’t wait to meet the little one when he arrives into this beautiful world!

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What’s in a Name?

It’s surprising to me when friends my age don’t know why their parents chose their name….or…maybe…I’m the odd one for being curious.

My parents named me after a famous actress my father liked named Jennifer Jones. Recently, I decided to find out more about here and here’s a few interesting things that stood out to me on Wikipedia.

She won an Academy Award for Best Actress for her performance in the 1943 The Song of Bernadette.

She started a foundation for mental health education after a close friend and her daughter committed suicide.

The most interesting part to me was the latter years of her life with her third marriage to multi-millionaire industrialist, art collector and philanthropist, Norton Simon. They met at a party hosted by fellow industrialist and art collector Walter Annenberg. Norton Simon appointed Jennifer Jones as Chairman of the Board of Trustees, President and Executive Officer of Norton Simon Museum before he passed away. After his passing, she began working with architect Frank Gehry and landscape designer Nancy Goslee Power on renovating the museum and gardens.

Learning about her life and legacy makes me love my name more! I’ve always been interested in visiting the Norton Simon Museum in Pasadena but now it’s a must-see. I think I shall drag the bf one day since he lives in the area.

YouOut

A new year means reflection time and today I want to reflect on my time as Co-Chair of the Youth Outreach Committee in APEX. Our committee consisted of only three people but were able to accomplish a lot in one year. Apple as our fabulous Director and Danric as Co-Chair #2, I’m #1. We loving called it “YouOut” since YO was already taken by the Youth Olympics Committee.

Apple, Danric and I met each other for the first time at the beginning of the year and we instantly bonded! It felt like we’ve been friends our whole lives so we easily worked together and played together 🙂

YouOut playing together: eating, drinking, dancing and even Knott’s Berry Farm!

Program 1: Kids Reading to Succeed

We started a new partnership with Kids Reading to Succeed. KRS is different from the Reading to Kids program because the kids read to you! Each volunteer is paired with a kid to discuss their reading material verbally and in writing. This helps the kids develop their reading comprehension and analytical skills.

After the reading hour, KRS brings in special guest speakers to demonstrate how reading plays an essential role in your everyday life and profession. One month they brought in people from the entertainment industry to share about how reading is a vital part in making a movie.  Then, they passed out scripts of a scene from the The Lion King and had the kids act it out in groups. It was so cute watching the kids applying their reading skills to a fun activity!

I believe this program helps inspire a love of reading.

Program 2: Career Seminars at KYCC and LTSC

Last year’s monthly career seminars at Koreatown Youth & Community Center were a success so we expanded it to also serve the Little Tokyo Service Center. Each month we brought in speakers to highlight a different industry which included Dance, Medical, Fashion, etc. And we did our best to pick a theme based on the kids interests. My favorite seminar was the one on Dance because it showed the kids that they can pursue their passion in the arts and still make a living. We brought in a professional salsa dancer, a dance instructor and a choreographer who each shared about their journey in their careers.Dance Speakers

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Program 3: Youth Mentorship Program

We created a new program this year to pair young professionals as a positive role model for at-risk youth. We did a three month pilot program with a few mentors and mentees and it went so well that all the participants want to continue meeting in the new year! I’m so proud of Danric and Apple! They put in a lot of work developing this new program and it was a great success. I can’t wait to see how it grows next year under a new Director.

The last AYM (APEX Youth Mentors) meeting

*tear* I’m going to miss my precious YouOut committee. We had a GREAT year and I’m so grateful for the work we did and most of all our friendship. *tear*