2012 Life Lesson

Instead of a 2012 recap I decided to share the one major lesson I learned this year.

Warning: Brutal HONESTY ahead!

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When you’re in a fight with a friend who you care about, then it doesn’t matter who talks to whom first to resolve the conflict. But during the fight if you realize you no longer want to be friends with that person because they’ve always been a bad friend, then do you tell them? Do you give your perspective of the situation and how you feel they’ve been a terrible friend for YEARS? Not so you can reconcile but so that person can be a better friend to others in the future.

You may be asking, “If this friend was so terrible for so long, why were you even friends?” and “Why end it now?” or perhaps “Why are you being so mean and unfair?” The answer is that I didn’t want to see anything negative in my closest friend. I’m not into drama or conflict so I forgive easily plus, not a lot of things bother me. That’s why I was able to be friends with this person when others gave up over the years. But now I’ve realized I’m just not willing to and don’t need to tolerate certain things anymore.

Over time, I learned the hard way that it’s not possible to be friends with someone who gets satisfaction out of constantly playing the victim, twists your words and actions so they can continue to be the saint, comes up with any rationalization that justifies their behavior, escapes any responsibility on their part of the situation, who wants the friendship only on their terms, who is immature and passive aggressive in what they say and do, basically, someone who is a master manipulator. The sad truth is that there are many girls like this. I’m not describing an anomaly. This is the reason why girls are generally labeled as “evil”. Sometimes I wish I could be a guy with only guy friends because they’re, usually, much less manipulative and analyze a situation rationally and logically.   

But most people will never catch on because they’ll probably never become as close to this person as I have. Most will remain friends, probably superficially, with this person and never experience what I’ve experienced. It’s truly sad that the friendship had to end this way but frankly, it was inevitable.  Deep down my gut knew the truth but it took this long for me to accept it.

Tip:  A girl without close long-term girlfriends, keyword being long-term, probably doesn’t know what it means to be a true friend. Ladies, be cautious when befriending this type of girl. Gentlemen, never marry this type of girl.

 A wise friend told me that as we get older it won’t even be feasible to maintain certain friendships because they become contingent on your life stage. A single person has different priorities than someone who wants to settle down and slowly, the commonalities will lessen between them and naturally the friendship will end. This holds true for what I’ve been told many times before from my older friends. They always tell me that the reason why people in their 30’s only have a handful of friends is because they eventually cut out all the toxic ones. 

In addition, I realized there is no longer a need for a “bestie” in my life. What I once thought was so important and special no longer holds true. Don’t get me wrong; I still need girlfriends in my life, like every girl does. But I don’t need to have just one “best friend”. All I need is a small circle of deep, healthy friendships with good girlfriends. Healthy friendships based on the desire to grow spiritually, emotionally and mentally. A healthy relationship is composed of two people who are humble and honest with one another, which means more courage to do the right thing and more compassion when things go wrong. It’s not easy, but growth means choosing honesty over passivity every single time. So, stop being passive if you want your relationships to remain healthy!

THE END

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What’s in a Name?

It’s surprising to me when friends my age don’t know why their parents chose their name….or…maybe…I’m the odd one for being curious.

My parents named me after a famous actress my father liked named Jennifer Jones. Recently, I decided to find out more about here and here’s a few interesting things that stood out to me on Wikipedia.

She won an Academy Award for Best Actress for her performance in the 1943 The Song of Bernadette.

She started a foundation for mental health education after a close friend and her daughter committed suicide.

The most interesting part to me was the latter years of her life with her third marriage to multi-millionaire industrialist, art collector and philanthropist, Norton Simon. They met at a party hosted by fellow industrialist and art collector Walter Annenberg. Norton Simon appointed Jennifer Jones as Chairman of the Board of Trustees, President and Executive Officer of Norton Simon Museum before he passed away. After his passing, she began working with architect Frank Gehry and landscape designer Nancy Goslee Power on renovating the museum and gardens.

Learning about her life and legacy makes me love my name more! I’ve always been interested in visiting the Norton Simon Museum in Pasadena but now it’s a must-see. I think I shall drag the bf one day since he lives in the area.

Fantasy Football

I don’t watch football. I don’t know anything about it. And I don’t even know all the teams. Yet, I joined a fantasy league. Let’s see how this goes.

Another time sucker added to my life but at least I’ll be learning something new. Maybe I’ll fall in love with football.

I let the computer pick my team and I won Best Draft! Holler! I’m off to a great start!

Birds with Arms

I can’t stop laughing when I look at these images. The first time I saw them, it totally made my day!


You can find more images here. AND! A band named Fulton Lights made a music video starring birds with arms.

Hiee!

So, I had to get a Word Press account to get access for another blog but now that I have one…I might as well start writing in it. It’s like the good ol days of Xanga. Hopefully, this one will be better than my ramblings on Xanga but most likely not since I’m not a good writer. 🙂

But my dear friend, Angela, gave me some great ideas for my blog: random nights out, what it’s like to live in LA, random encounters, pictures of weird things, etc. So, she inspired me to actually write in this thing. It’ll just be about my life in LA. Plain and simple. But this is is a great year to start since I’m involved in two non-profit organizations that will keep be me very active in the community.